*SPOILERS* *SPOILERS* *SPOILERS* *SPOILERS* *SPOILERS* *SPOILERS* *SPOILERS*
Last night’s first episode of the much anticipated Season 8 episode 1 was the Sandra Lee tablescape, so between next week Sunday and episode 3 I expect to be at the Guy Fieri chomping on the giant hamburger stage (for all my Food Network fans out there). Needless to say, I was totally geeked out (t-shirt and all!) and ready for anything when 9:00pm on April 14th finally came, so I could see what in the Westeros this final season would bring.
So my general observations were that I dug the episode. I love how they paralleled it with episode 1 of season 1, from the little boy scurrying through everyone’s legs and climbing up high to see Jon and Dany’s procession arrive, the same way Bran did back then to see King Robert and the Lannisters come to Winterfell, even using the same musical accompaniment. I also enjoyed the reunions and reveals, numerous uncomfortable moments and a real harkening back to the intriguing one on one discussions which made many of us fall in love with the show (and the books) in the first place. Everything seemed to nicely set up the madness expected to occur during the season.
1. Northerners eyeing Daenerys (and Jon), Grey Worm and Missandei with suspicion and disdain only reserved for people like Donald Trump toward someone from a “s*&^hole country”.
Northerners – Jon ben’ de knee tuh she? Wuh she got so dat he gih way he crown suh easy?
Northerners – Wunna see dese dark skin’ people? Wey dem come from boah? Yuh could touch dem?
Northerners – Oh $#@@&*%! You see dem dragons? Lewwe guh home hear?
2. Sansa Snark. Poor Dany, tryna be nice to her future sis-in-law (maybe) and getting more shade than a tourist under an umbrella in Dorne. If looks could kill…
Dany – No but seriously, why do I have to be humble to these cold, unwashed folk? Just bend the knee already! Ok, ok, I’ll be nice to tall sister here, I don’t wanna have a fight with Jon later, I’m planning a really nice evening with him, me and the dragons.
Sansa – Really Jon, this is what you brought back from down south? Really? Rolls eyes in head. She won’t last long, you aren’t thinking straight. I’m sure you already slept with her, ugh. No knees bent here though, that ain’t happening.
Jon – Just get along ok? Go drink some wine together and do girly things, please. We have the dead to fight.
3. “What do dragons eat anyway?” We all know how a Bajan would have answered Sansa, tee hee (“Dragons does eat yuh ___________!”).
4. Bronn’s wtfchoking moment when Qyburn said that one of the prostitutes he was just with had the “pox” and wouldn’t last the year.
5. The character formerly known as Bran Stark, now known as the “T1000R2D2Autobot3eyedRaven” being weird and all-knowing, sitting in the yard (guess his fam thinks he’s better off out there) and being all informative and s*&#. Best moment, the Archie Andrews “hurk!” from Jaime Lannister when he realised at the very end of the episode that the scary man in the wheelchair staring at him is the little boy he pushed out of the window years before.
6. Loving sister to brother headbutt between Yara and Theon Greyjoy.
7. Dragon Date with John and his auntygirlfriend (please, make it stop) and Drogon’s disapproving/protective? eyesquint at Jon during the makeout sesh.
8. Sam finding out that his best friend’s auntygirlfriend dracarysed his dad and brother last season when all he was asking for was a pardon for stealing a couple books from the Citadel. I thought if Dany could make a hole appear in the floor for her to fall through, she would. Or would she? Dunno if I feel the same way about her anymore, with her fixation on knee bending.
9. Finally, Sam telling his best friend Jon that, er, well, you’re really king and, um, your girlfriend is really your aunt and, um, you need to do something about this situation, because you’re the better leader. She did have my dad and brother killed in a fit of rage. You would never do that, I know you.
It was all too much for poor sexy man bun, who looked like he got punched in the stomach the moment he realised that he was in a relationship with this auntie who thinks she’s the rightful heir to the Iron Throne.
Honourable mentions: Ayra’s reunions with Jon (sniff) and the Hound and the tense conversation between Tryion (I don’t like this road of bad decisions that they’re taking Tyrion down, I feel as though they’re setting him up for his death because of a dumb mistake and my heart can’t take it) and Sansa.
Can’t wait ‘til next week.