Dealing with Disappointment

So recently I experienced a huge disappointment.  It wasn’t the first time of course but this hit me pretty hard.  You would think that at the “tender” age of 33 I would be able to brush it off and move on.  Not so much…

So many thoughts, “Why?”, “How?”, “I wish things were different”, “How do I recover from this?” So in order to manage dealing with the situation, I came up with a couple of my own remedies that I hope can help.

  1. It’s ok to feel upset

Oftentimes we don’t want anyone to know what we are going through.  It’s in our nature to hide how we are feeling and to put on a brave face.  Stop. It. Now.

It’s ok to cry or let out a loud “Arrghhh!”.  Keeping your feelings bottled in is a recipe for disaster.  Talk to someone you trust, or even the person (if it is a person) who is the source of your disappointment.  Trust me, you will feel better.  Better that than sitting on the floor wondering why the person next to you has a bloody eye and one tooth missing, just saying…

2. Acceptance

Denial never got anyone anywhere.  Trust me, I know it’s hard but after your vent, have a seat (or a lie down) and think about the situation in its entirety.  Understand that it has happened and you can’t make like John Connor and hope that you can fix the past so the future doesn’t happen.

3. Put things into perspective

What is happening in your life right now?  Was the thing you were waiting on integral to improvement of your current situation?  First things first, relax.  I know it’s almost impossible but try it.  Then ask yourself what impact does the disappointment have on your life.  Perhaps you could rearrange things to make the improvements you need. When you really look at the bigger picture, the state of affairs may not be as dire as you think.

4. Reassign your expectations

If you now find yourself in a situation where you may have to start over or restructure, take some time to physically and/or mentally prepare yourself for different outcomes to a particular situation.

Also ask, are my expectations fair? Realistic?  You know the general pattern of your life so only you can make the decisions.  If you need to make changes, by all means, do so.

I’m working on the above.  It hasn’t been easy but I’m trying and I suggest you do to.

 

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